...It's Friday im in Love.. [entries|friends|calendar] stephany [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

/ [Sunday, November 1st, 2009 @ 1:39am] i cant get you out of my head. since late 2004 its love. make it hurt. sunsets

house sitting. [Wednesday, October 28th, 2009 @ 9:30pm] mouse sitting. sunsets

.. [Thursday, March 19th, 2009 @ 7:39pm] if i could turn into a grain of sand and join the others on the beach i would. be content with heating up with the sun and cooling with the moon. shifting with the tides and being made into sandcastles just to be knocked down by a simple push. to be so maluable that would be so nice. i am stressed. and i am hurt but i think ill make this through and if we can just push on a little further by going backwards as you wish i do belive we can beuild forward stronger and more beautifully then what we had befor. there is always strength in learning and i think of this is my new journey just be level headed stephany. it shouldnt hurt this bad. so dont let it. pain is inevitable . suffering optional. sunsets

welcome back stephany [Thursday, January 15th, 2009 @ 11:53am] welcome back welcome back welcome back. job hunting. love finding. poision drinking. clove smoking hug giving dance doing. conversation making. fool. the new years is treating me well. but how come evryone around me is doing so badly? 07-08 were horrrible, depressing greif strickin years. have i earned my good time? i almost feeel guilty to be this happy. Almost. sunsets

SO [Sunday, February 17th, 2008 @ 9:25pm] im up to 147. im 5'7.5 i think i look amazing. im filled out. imm happy with my appetite.im healthy and i am okay for the first time in years to say i love myself. and i have no issue beign naked around anyoen let alone myself. not that imma get naked or anything. but. and i go through these days where i feel " fat" "huge" "like a tub of fuckign lard" and i get so upset if soemthign doesnt fit right. heres the deal. i know i cant be a fucking 115 my whole life. and fuck sakes i looked sick. i have told myself. just get over it. you are a beautiful woman not a fuckign sickly stick. im gettign rid of all of my clothign that doesnt fit. im starting new. if i get bigger, buy bigger. i neeed to pull myself out of this fuckign sick web that sociecty has weved for me. thank you glamoure, vogue,prada gucci ect. im coming out. sunsets

yoi [Friday, January 25th, 2008 @ 9:21pm] It's full speed, baby, in the wrong direction. sunsets

FUCKIGN STOP [Monday, December 24th, 2007 @ 1:00pm] I BEG OF YOU DEAR FRIENDS PLEASE STOP FUCKIGN DYING PLEASE please r.ip jordan 1 sunrises & sunsets

hungry [Saturday, November 17th, 2007 @ 11:56am] cut my hair off. dance alot, keeps the weight off. keeps the drunk away. keeps the sun away sunsets

i cant seem to shake this [Friday, November 9th, 2007 @ 4:22pm] but i dont really care right now. ive been watcching movies for two weeks straight my dad had surgery today. im worried. upset just plain tired of keeping busy / i swear ill make it through this year. even if it kills me. sunsets

i need to slow the fuck down [Sunday, October 21st, 2007 @ 1:35pm] okay self destrucktive okay broken hearted. stop it anxiety filled words i cant seem to break this bottle from my hands. sleeping isnt sleep now adays til i am passed out stone cold piss drunk while others worry i may be dead by the morning. help me. sunsets

oh [Wednesday, October 17th, 2007 @ 8:57pm] so lonely sunsets

"im not down with hitting a girl in the face.," [Saturday, October 13th, 2007 @ 12:33am] try me@!!! sunsets

smitten [Wednesday, October 3rd, 2007 @ 5:02pm] like a kitten. i have doggy scratches on my arm. and a caase of hiccups. 1 sunrises & sunsets

i cant sleep [Thursday, September 13th, 2007 @ 10:47pm] now that my dose was upped. FUCKIN A sunsets

hmn.. [Tuesday, September 11th, 2007 @ 9:14pm] an hour after takign my meds i feel liek imf reakign flying its fun til it fades and im sitting back on the ground. im sick of my thoughts, i understand medication isnt a cure all but sweet fuckign lord, im dying here. im about to call for desparet measures\\:::wait i thought these WHERE DESPARATE MEASURES!::: fuckin a. i remember when i could write for days, i could sit under (or in ) a tree and disapear in my notepads.ride my bike around thelake and home, and become so insppired by what i saw that i had tostop right there or race home to drawor paint anything. im a "weakling" now,im dependant on pills, people, fast transportation.swept up in everythign but the simple life. im so disapointed in myself. even tho everyon else is so proud. sunsets

[Monday, September 3rd, 2007 @ 2:55pm] 1 sunrises & sunsets

[Saturday, September 1st, 2007 @ 10:59am] R.I.P Bo Sawyer 1987-2007, R.I.P Jarrod Willcutt 1984-2007,R.IP roamie1987-2007 1 sunrises & sunsets

littlemccarter? [Wednesday, February 22nd, 2006 @ 10:11am] fuck no, i will not allow mw to sprout petals and become a flower. sunsets

my mother attemtpeed suicide.. [Sunday, February 12th, 2006 @ 3:23pm] my mother attemtped suicide this morning.. No i dotn want to talk about it. -stephany 3 sunrises & sunsets

things happen for a reason. [Thursday, February 9th, 2006 @ 1:56pm] what goes up must come down. ha. i didnt expect it to last a smuch as i would have wanted it to. 1 sunrises & sunsets

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